When I was just a young lad
Aspiring...to fit in
All tie-dyed shirts and hippie hair unkempt
We believed in total freedom
In lettin' it all hang out
But the contents of your wardrobe was exempt
If they caught you wearing boxers you were likely to be shunned
Only y-fronts might adorn your derriere
Boxers were for old guys
Or even worse, your dad
And nobody wants to wear...their father's underwear

I did not want to wear
My father's underwear
The way I chose to gird my loins is my own affair
I have my own beliefs
My tight white low-cut briefs
Their chief advantage is they're not my father's underwear

The younger generation
To set themselves apart
Reject my tighty-whities with disdain
They're airing out their differences in floppy boxer shorts
With inscriptions meant to shock and entertain
Fancy patterns and bright colors make these underdrawers ideal
For hiding any inconvenient stain
And speaking of disdain, the true source of their appeal
Is that nobody wants to wear...their father's underwear

Nobody wants to wear
Their father's underwear
The very notion is enough to drive them to despair
Their floppy boxer shorts
According to reports
Have the advantage that they're not their father's underwear

To my children's generation
This advice...don't get too smug
You can bet your children also will rebel
They'll want neither briefs nor boxers
Beneath their dignity
Though what skivvies they might choose, it's hard to tell
Whether breechclout, thong, bikini, or even pantaloon
Who knows, they just might go completely bare
You can bet your bottom dollar
When it comes to clothes down there
They're not gonna want to wear
Their father's underwear

Your father's underwear
I hope I've made it clear
Is the embodiment of every young man's greatest fear
They'll feel deep despair
If on their derriere
Is anything
Resembling
Their father's underwear